Today I was contemplating changing roles. I’m seeing my roles change as I get older, get to know different people, develop different skill sets.
For example, I used to be the youth guy. I was dead set on being a youth pastor, went on as many camps as I could, and spend every spare moment with middle school and high school kids. Then I went to college and stopped working with kids…and all the kids I used to work with grew up.
I still keep a couple younger friends…the fourteen and fifteen year old boys at church who like climbing and biking…but these are the dwindling exception now. Most of my energy goes into peer relationships and working with adults.
I’m not really the youth guy anymore.
And I’m mostly okay with that.
Hopefully that side of me will re-emerge at some point.
I see other roles changing too. I’m not as active in church as I used to be and always thought I would be. Not sure yet how I feel about that.
In marriage, well…still feel like I’m settling into that. The idea of investing into one person, committing to one person, loving one person more than me. It’s hard! But it’s definitely in keeping with the pattern modeled for me by my father and his father.
When I was younger I shied away from physical activity…then I started working out and discovered I loved exercise…now I’m slowly reverting back to being less active. I really value taking care of physical health…it’s just there’s so many other things to do. And my body is developing limits for itself. I guess that’s the part about changing roles I’m not so crazy about.
I know I can’t really pursue the fashion and theatre industries, but I’m getting very excited about someday working in the writing industry.
And the point of it all is that…life is impermanent. Things change, and not in bad ways. My head knows this and always has, but now I’m seeing it and feeling it. Not always completely okay with it…but sometimes I’m excited. Excited to see what comes next. Who I could be. Where I could go. Who will be with me.
Things like that.

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