Yesterday’s entry was lame to the point of not being posted mostly because yesterday was very long and taxed the deep parts of my soul quite a bit. All my clients showed up(which is very odd for a Friday) and there were some significant crises involved. My supervisors were extremely supportive and encouraging, though, which was great, and I got to get lunch at the taco cart down the alley.
Instead of wasting away in front of the television in the evening, we went for a lovely walk and dinner date. Had good conversations. I like this good conversation pattern
Today is the day when I would have been flying out to Ecuador if things had happened differently.
I was scared of this day when I decided not to pursue the trip, afraid of how I’d feel. Possibly bitter, resentful, sad and extremely disappointed. Angry.
Now that I’m here, I feel really relaxed. Quite a bit more at peace with myself and the world. Without the big international adventure to navigate now, I’ve been able to enjoy the wife and pre-born quite a bit more. Spend time almost every day working on my novel. Investing in some old friends and new friends. Bouldering. Tomorrow I get to be on the worship team.
Not that I wouldn’t have been doing these things anyway, but I would have been running around all this week taking care of last minute details, packing, trying to get all my paperwork done at work and planning curriculums for my group substitute leaders at work for two weeks…
Funny story, though. One of the main reasons I decided not to go was because we thought we might have to move in April which meant we’d be frantically house hunting in March…
Turns out we’re not house hunting this month. As of now, pending life, looks like God has provided a new housemate.
That leaves me here, at home in the U.S.A., in my pajamas at 8:50 am, blogging, waiting for gluten-free pancakes. Later we’ll do a baby registry. After that, music practice. I’ll spend the afternoon writing unless I find some company. Normal life, the life that goes on no matter what happens. I’m a little sad that I’m not having my big adventure. Maybe I’ll feel more sad later. For now, I feel more content than anything. Glad to be doing the things I’m doing.
True, I’m still hoping for an adventure getaway sometime soon. But when I finally do get to go, the time will be better. I’ll be more settled. More ready.
For now, I’m glad to be here.
Bless the Lord who guides my steps
Who makes His way clear
and reveals Himself to all who seek Him
Bless the God of earth and sky
Light into dark
Life in place of death
Bless the Spirit of God
Who’s words are truth
Whose truth is life