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What makes an enemy an enemy? The word is so strong and I don’t think we fully appreciate it in our current mindsets. That and we throw it around way to casually, same as with labels like Bipolar, Crazy and OCD. In my mind, an Enemy is someone you hate and against whom you intend harm, someone who also hates and intends you harm.

How do two people get to be in such a state of mutual harm intention?

I daresay there are many many small and big choices that lead up to this mutual hate. Someone makes the choice to be mean, insensitive, ignorant, rude or threatening. At this point, the one person has become a bully, which is not good, but a bully is not an enemy. Not yet. An enemy is made when the bullied or offended person decides to take the bullying personally and be threatened and offended. When the second person decides to retaliate, enemies are made.

I think we could avoid making enemies if we were more comfortable with ourselves. If we knew who we were and were comfortable with that person. If we didn’t require validation from outside of us. If we were open to learning and being challenged and growing. If we could be neutral and in control of ourselves when offended so we don’t lash out in anger. If we had a tight hold on only very few things.

Then the would-be enemies could make their insensitive comments, be rude and ignorant, even be mean, hostile and violent and we would know that we are more than our conflicts, more than the insults against us. We are strong as people and we can survive many things. Certainly we can survive bullies without turning them into enemies in our hearts.

All this enemy business begins in the heart when we choose to be angry and accept the violence done to us by others. If we choose not to be angry and reject the violent energy of those around us, this will not guarantee that we will live without pain, but this is the way to live with peace inside.